To Be Continued

After a series of unfortunate events, I had come to the conclusion I was morbidly unhappy.
The term was new to me. I don’t know where it came from and hadn’t felt this way in years. I knew what the remedy was but was afraid of disappointing people.
I had come so far in the last three years. After my accident in 2012 (that left me crippled, jobless, and homeless), the kindness and love shown to me from friends and family helped get me back on my feet. I didn’t want to put myself back in that situation and didn’t want them to think their efforts were in vain. 
But we all have one precious life and mine was slipping away. I was suffering. I was losing weight, & crying all the time, stopped laughing, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat and lost my sense of humor. 
The one thing that could always get me through tough times was the ability to joke about it. But all I heard in my head was “It’s not funny anymore!”

I felt like a shell of a human. I could feel every heart beat and wondered if it would be my last. 

I remembered a friend told me once that emotional suffering is the soul’s way of fighting for a better existence. This wasn’t the end for me but it needed to be the end of this chapter in my life. 
“You cannot live a brave life without disappointing someone. They have their own agenda. The ones who support you are rooting for your rise.” -Brenè Brown 

I clung to this quote as I proceeded to make one of the bravest decisions of my life. 
To be continued…